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Space is many a splendoured thing. Amazingly, its beauty lies at the nebula; a concentration of mass and/or energy and its uncontroversial incontrovertibility. It, indeed, is space that has much to offer, many facets to present and many opportunities to pluck. Inter-convertibility is as much in evidence in our day to day life as in the origin of universe itself as evidenced in the power of fission or fusion.
Talk of space - there was the lack of it on a small island (in an island nation of just a few hundreds of thousands). The unhappiness and rate in any island in this country is extremely high and population density on the land mass as high as 4000/sq km with few opportunities to venture out. In joint families that inhabit the place, each one breathes down the others' neck and gets onto each others' nerves frayed already by the hard life and poverty. Unhappiness abounds - children talk of siblings in terms like "I am going to meet my sister's mother" or "I am going to my Father's third marriage and will get a brother and a sister too".
In the context mentioned by the author, she has spoken of the void within as the unconquered space - the mind capable of flights of fancy, into the unknown and plunder the bounty (not plunder as in violence but as in harvest by labour, be it of soul, heart, mind, body or all put together in a variety of permutations) that the Creation has to offer.
Explore - I MUST GO FOR IT but see that I hurt no one, see that I give at least as much as I take.
Safety and security, whatever be the form, come from acceptance, contentment, tolerance and forbearance and not from material goods; this is not to say that material goods are unnecessary - materialism has its own place but in the hierarchy of needs, they occupy, perhaps, a rung much lower than we elevate them to in the confines of the limited space that we choose to explore and ignore so much that lies in the unexplored and unexploited vistas of the mind as well as the mother Earth. Look (and toil), not only shall you find, but you shall get.
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HUNGRY SQUIRRELS
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Feb 7, 2012 5:22 pm
63 Views
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The city fellow asked his friend the country boy to take him deer hunting, as he had never been hunting before. The country boy agreed to this, as long as the city fellow did EXACTLY what he was told to do.
The two men got their gear together and went into the woods. The country boy told the city fellow to sit down on a log that lay beside a deer trail, and that if he stayed quiet and waited, the deer would come right by him on the way to the creek, and he would be able to get a good shot. The country boy said that he was going to go on down the trail about a mile to another good spot, and he would be back to meet the city fellow later.
But a few hours later, the country boy heard all kinds of yelling and screaming as the city fellow came running down the trail!! "Well what's wrong with you?", he asked the city fellow. "Why didn't you stay where I told you to?"
The city fellow, still very excited, replied, "Well, when the bobcat came over and sharpened his claws on the log, I didn't move. When the bear came and sat on the other end of the log, I didn't move. But when the two squirrels came up, climbed into my lap and then one said to the other, 'Shall we take them with us or eat them here', well I just couldn't stand it any more!"
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PEOPLE
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Feb 3, 2012 4:19 pm
225 Views
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Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses and some don't turn up at all.
- Sam Ewing
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3
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PRIESTS IN HAWAII
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Feb 1, 2012 5:25 pm
311 Views
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Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a REAL vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning they headed for the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on their beach chairs, enjoying a drink when all of a sudden this "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help staring.
As she passed by she smiled and said, "Good Morning, Father, Good Morning, Father" nodding and addressing each of them individually.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?
The next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. This time they were so loud, you could hear them coming before you could see them. Again, they settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.
After a while, the same gorgeous blond came strolling by. This time her bikini was even more daring. They were really glad that they were wearing sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.
As she approached, she again nodded and said, "Good morning, Father, Good morning, Father," and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it. "Wait, please young lady. Yes, we are priests and proud of it, but I have to know - how in the world could you tell that we are both priests?"
"Father, it's me, Sister Angela."
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DIRTY JOKES
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Jan 26, 2012 4:23 pm
563 Views
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FOUND A DEAD CAT
A Junior School pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.
“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil.
“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently.
“You did WHAT?! ?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”
CAMPING
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked,Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
"What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!"
MEMORY LESSONS
It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering
things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is
wonderful; they come home and tell all their relatives, friends,
and neighbours about it. Some months later, a neighbour approaches
the man as he tends the garden.
Neighbour asks, "Say, Ed, what was the name of the
instructor of that memory course you liked so much?"
Ed replies, "Well, it was...hmmm...let me think a minute...
What's the name of that flower, you know,
the one that smells so nice, but has thorns on the stems...?
Neighbour says, "You mean a rose?"
Ed replies, "Yeah, that's it!...(shouting toward house)
Hey,Rose, what was that memory course instructor's name?
INSURANCE POLICY
Vandals had set fire to a farmers haystack which then spread to his barn.
While he surveyed the wreckage, his wife called their insurance company
and asked them to send a check for £30,000 the amount of insurance on the barn.
“We don’t give you the money,” a company official explained.
“We replace the barn and all the equipment in it.”
“In that case,” replied the wife, “cancel the policy I have on my husband.”
REDNECK TRUCKERS
Two Country truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to a low bridge.
A sign says, "Clearance: 11"2'." So they get out, measure their truck, and realize that it's 11"6'.
So the first GUY looks at the second GUY and says, "I don't see any cops around....let's go for it!"
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CHILDREN - THEIR NOTES TO GOD
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Jan 22, 2012 2:18 am
700 Views
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Dear God:
How come my brother has a pee pee and I don't? Did you run out of them?
Dear God:
My Mommy is sad a lot since Daddy went away. We can't find him. Can you?
Dear God:
My turtle died. We buried her in our yard. Is she there with your now? If so, she really likes lettuce.
Dear God:
I have scary dreams at night. Mommy says I can't come in with them anymore 'cuz I'm too big for that. Where do scary dreams come from, or should I ask the devil that?
Dear God:
Did you invent skateboards? Do you have them up in Heaven too? I love mine a lot and can do lots of tricks already. Do you like watching me?
Dear God:
I'm sorry I forgot the words to your songs yesterday in Sunday School. I don't sing that good anyway so sometimes I just hum along. Is that o.k. with you?
Dear God:
Could you please make my legs be strong? I want to play like the other kids. They tease me so please make them stop.
Dear God: Do you throw the lightening down at us? It scares me a lot when it goes BOOM. Please stop it.
Dear God: I love Jesse a lot. When I told him, he pushed me down and made me cry. Mommy says he must like me too. What do you think?
Dear God: Molly got new pink shoes, and I want them. Is that bad? I won't steal them or anything, but would you send me some too?
Dear God: I hate it when Daddy drinks his beer. He smells awful. Then he sleeps. He gets mean and yells at me a lot. Did you make up beer? Why?
Dear God:
When I get big I want to play basketball. Maybe you could make my skin black so I can play better. Also, make me really tall, too.
Dear God:
Do you like it when I pray to you? I do, too.
Dear God:
My Sunday School teacher says you always love me. Is that true? Even after what I did to Sara yesterday - or do you know about that? I really am sorry so I wish you would still love me.
Dear God:
My grandma is dying. She says you want her back with you, but I want her to stay here with me. You can have anyone you want. She's all I have, so please let her get better and stay.
Dear God:
Did baby Jesus cry all the time? My new brother does, and I don't like it. Mommy says all babies do, and I did when I was little. I'm six now. I don't think baby Jesus ever cried. He's your son, so you must know the answer. We have a bet on it, so please write back.
Dear God:
Why did you make snakes and spiders? I'm afraid of them.
Dear God:
Could you send me a horse? Caitlan has one, and she's always bragging about how fun he is. I want a bigger and smarter horse than hers. My horses' name will be Bullet so make him the fastest too, please.
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TYPICAL MATRIMONIALS BY PROFESSIONALS - INDIA STYLE
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Jan 15, 2012 2:34 pm
1012 Views
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SOFTWARE ENGINEERS:
Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) .
There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build.
She must _NOT_ be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT or USER FRIENDLY.
We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer.
DOCTOR:
Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.
LAWYER:
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objection will be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.
BANKER:
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
DRUNKARD:
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preferred will have to carry me home from bar frequently. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.
CAR MECHANIC:
Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average..... .......
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6
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CHICKENS AND POLITICIANS
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Jan 11, 2012 5:44 pm
1215 Views
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Sharing with you a forward.
John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "NoBell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "PulletSurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
Vote carefully in the next election, the bells are not always audible.
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6
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LIFE
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Jan 7, 2012 5:26 am
1385 Views
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"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...It is about learning to dance in the rain!"
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3
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A FEW SNIPPETS
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Jan 4, 2012 4:06 pm
1441 Views
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I’ll never marry in my life and I’ll give same advice to my children also.
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Helpful Policeman: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
A blonde was being admonished by the doctor: Until the penicillin cleans out your infection, you are to have no relations whatsoever!
Pausing for a moment, the blonde replied: Ok, but what about friends & neighbors?
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in.
She said: Cheque books.
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the cigarettes I smoked, i feel ashamed. Then I look into the cigarette & think about the workers in the cigrette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I dont smoke this cigarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it’s better that I smoke this cigarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony.
“I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence.
A French guest, staying in a hotel in New York, phoned room service for some pepper.
“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.
“Toilette pepper!” said the Frenchman.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
My domestic help thinks “freedom of the press” means no-iron clothes.
When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it’s called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it’s called an election.
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession…even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!”
A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tells him that they are gonna get married.
Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?
“Take a pencil and paper,” the teacher said, “and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire’”
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
“What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?”
“I’m waiting for my secretary,” he replied.
Wife’s definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”
The psychology professor replied, “Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs.”
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations–we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter.
Two women were talking about their new milkman.
First: He’s very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said the other.
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